Actual size.

This week, the NASCAR journey takes everyone to New Hampshire Motor Speedway in Loudon, New Hampshire. New Hampshire is the smallest state that NASCAR operates in (area and population), but despite it’s diminutive size, it actually hosts two popular races annually. (Being in the furthest reaches of “Greater Boston” helps.)

But, see, that’s the problem, New Hampshire just doesn’t give you much in the way of journalistic hooks. So, everybody trots out their “B” material like “Tony Stewart Is Rock Solid in the Granite State” or every four years, you can trot out a New Hampshire primary hook. So, in the interest of public service, here are a few alternate headlines that journalists could take a stab at this weekend at New Hampshire:

• Matt is merry on the Merrimack. (Would also work for Martin or Marcos.)
• Stremme (or whomever) has “Frosty” results in New Hampshire on “The Road Not Taken.”
• Kyle goes “nuclear” near Seabrook Station.
• Biffle “Pierces” New Hampshire.
• Jimmie inches closer to the “Salmon P.” Chase.

Okay, admittedly these are terrible. It feels more like a poorly-done “Before & After” category on Jeopardy! after the writers phoned it in on a Friday after a six- or seven-martini lunch. (”What is e.e. cummings Turbo Diesel?”)

How about we skip to the preview?

(See? This is what I meant! I can’t force “B” material to transmogrify into “A” material!)
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