*smooch*
That has a lot of people calling foul for some reason, including Kyle Petty. I don’t really see why though. Montoya was angry and swore he didn’t do it, but basically it’s his word versus two electronic scoring monitors. That wouldn’t overturn a speeding ticket in any court of law that I’m familiar with.
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Older Dominion
And on top of Mark Martin qualifying on the pole, Bill Elliott, 53, turned in a great performance qualifying fourth.
It’s an old man’s game this year.
Behind Martin, Juan Pablo Montoya, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Bill Elliott, David Reutimann, Brian Vickers, Tony Stewart, Kasey Kahne, Reed Sorenson and Clint Bowyer rounded out the Top 10.
Full starting lineup after the jump.
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Put down that ellipse tool, young designer. It's time to break out the rounded rectangle.
You probably don’t know what I mean by that, but that’s okay. This weekend, NASCAR travels to Indianapolis to visit the 100-year-old shrine to American automobile racing: The Brickyard, that large rounded rectangle in a circuit replete with ellipses.
So put out the finest china (and I don’t mean the “Heroes of NASCAR” series of collector plates except for the Bobby Allison Miller High Life one because your cousin Marvin broke it when he put a package of firecrackers in a 10-pound package of ground chuck last Memorial Day) because we’re visiting the hallowed grounds of Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
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Feelin' fine.
Writer’s block is a…thing.
Man, who knew that taking two weeks off from writing would throw my rhythm off so badly? Writing about writer’s block is seemingly the height of pretentious writer tricks (Finding Forrester, Wonder Boys, Adaptation, ad nauseum), but when you’re struggling even to recall the word to use to explain your particular conundrum (the word I couldn’t articulate was “articulate”), it seems like the place to go as a writer.
The traveling NASCAR circus heads to Chicagoland Speedway this weekend, which is in Joliet, Illinois. Trust me, you’ll thank me later for avoiding the “easy out” Blues Brothers references. That draft was terrible.
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Actual size.
This week, the NASCAR journey takes everyone to New Hampshire Motor Speedway in Loudon, New Hampshire. New Hampshire is the smallest state that NASCAR operates in (area and population), but despite it’s diminutive size, it actually hosts two popular races annually. (Being in the furthest reaches of “Greater Boston” helps.)
But, see, that’s the problem, New Hampshire just doesn’t give you much in the way of journalistic hooks. So, everybody trots out their “B” material like “Tony Stewart Is Rock Solid in the Granite State” or every four years, you can trot out a New Hampshire primary hook. So, in the interest of public service, here are a few alternate headlines that journalists could take a stab at this weekend at New Hampshire:
Okay, admittedly these are terrible. It feels more like a poorly-done “Before & After” category on Jeopardy! after the writers phoned it in on a Friday after a six- or seven-martini lunch. (”What is e.e. cummings Turbo Diesel?”)
How about we skip to the preview?
(See? This is what I meant! I can’t force “B” material to transmogrify into “A” material!)
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NASCAR's version of Fumé Blanc.
Kasey Kahne held off Tony Stewart to pick up an unexpected win at Infineon Raceway. How unexpected was it? It was Kahne’s first Top 10 at Sonoma, his first Top 20 at Sonoma, his first Top 10 at any road course in Cup Series and actually his first Top 10 at any road course at any level of NASCAR.
So, yeah, if you picked Kasey Kahne to win today, you either are crazy, clairvoyant or you couldn’t decide on a pick and you paid good money to hold a double-elimination tournament between 43 liquored-up lemurs and the lemur representing Kasey Kahne won.
I dunno. It’s late. Drunk lemurs are funny. No, I’m not drunk myself. Just tired.
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Five more of these and I'll be able to make some stylish curtains out of them.
Kyle Busch sits on the outside of Row 1. He’s followed by Marcos Ambrose, Tony Stewart, Kasey Kahne, Martin Truex, Jr., Ryan Newman, Elliott Sadler, Boris Said and Matt Kenseth.
Overall, it’s an up-and-down day for Red Bull Racing. Vickers may have been on the pole, but Scott Speed ended up with his third DNQ on the year, putting him further out of reach of that elusive Top 35 in owners points. However, he may end up getting seat time in Joe Nemechek’s ride again (he obviously won’t pick up any owners points for that though). We’ll know more on that soon.
Full starting lineup after the jump.
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Raise your hand if you're Ensure.
Nearly out of gas, Mark Martin won the LifeLock 400 at Michigan, making it to the end as other drivers fell away in the final laps. But Mark is hardly “running on empty,” picking up his third win over the age of 50, but unlike the song (back in ‘65, Mark was, well, seven, not seventeen), Mark seems to know exactly where he’s headed. Although the part about “I don’t know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels,” probably fits just fine.
We’ve joked about Martin in the past and about how he’s trying to be something of a second Harry Gant, but Martin looks to be serious about it. Gant had eight wins in his 50s and now Martin has three. The question we jokingly asked before, we ask once again more seriously: can Mark Martin beat Harry Gant’s record for wins over age 50?
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To 'eBay?' That sure is a popular name today.
Brian Vickers is on the pole for the LifeLock 400 at Michigan International Speedway. It’s been a big week for Vickers, as he also just signed a new contract to stay at Red Bull Racing (not to mention a pit stop in Times Square). Michigan is a good track for Vickers and I think he’s a solid Top 10 pick.
Behind Vickers, you have Kyle Busch, Jimmie Johnson, David Reutimann, Kurt Busch, A.J. Allmendinger with a solid run in 6th, Juan Pablo Montoya, Kasey Kahne, Clint Bowyer and, no this isn’t an error, John Andretti in 10th.
Click below for the full starting lineup.
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Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at the Glen
Watkins Glen International
August 9, 1:00 p.m. (ESPN)
Zippo 200 at the Glen
Watkins Glen International
August 8, 2:30 p.m. (ESPN2)
O'Reilly 200
Bristol Motor Speedway
August 19, 8:00 p.m. (SPEED)
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